Spam, Telemarketing, Popups, Commercialization

Its a nice friday you come home from work or school. And as you cross into your personal domain you are greated with outmost enthusiasm by some of the most anoying things todays society has to offer. Let take it step by step probably the one of the first things you do is check one of the oldest remote communication systems in existance, postal service. This systems has served us well for centuries its is generally the easiest concept to grasp yet its is so effective. Effective thats the word every company is looking for when they want to deliver you information about their products or services. So as you look into your communication portal you are blinded by the colorfull "printed advertisement media" each page of which is filled with bits of information the goal of which is to persuade you to give up valuables be it time or money or what ever else. You pick up this pile quickly filter through the mass while picking out all the bits to which you have succumb to by subscribing the rest you desposit in secure location were they will be untouched untill you take out the trash or preferably the recycle. This form of spam is the closest relative to your usual email spam with one exception it much heavier burden on our nature {{{Tree}}} as it puts our resources in the trash. For one reason or another the content of this media is a lot more shall we say moral than its electonic counterpart. Oh yeah not to mention that this medium is economically stimulating as the companies who wish to present their deals to you have to shell out a bit from the pocket to the gate keaped, the postal service.

Medium: Postal Mail

  • Annoyance: **
  • Morality: ****
  • Social Acceptance: *
  • Circumvention: ***

As you procede into the house you might prepare yourself some dinner which you'd take to eat by the closest TV enjoing it along with you daily dose of animated comercials with breaks inbetween them during you might be able to glance at what is happening all around the world molded to suit your mind. TV commercials are in my opinions are the most legitemate forms of advertising as you can fully escape watching TV without major consequences and it wastes almost not additional resources per customer as you would with say postal advertisements.

Medium: Television

  • Annoyance: *
  • Morality: *
  • Social Acceptance: *
  • Circumvention: *

While you'r putting away of doing the "dishes" after you have just consumed your pre-made-just-throw-it-in-the-microwave-dinner you wouldn't be surprised if you heard your phone blaring in the distance. You jump up from the sofa so as to get the phone before the answering machine does. The race starts, the clock is ticking you have 5 beeps left. Oh-no you can't remember where you have put the wire-less (3 beeps left) so you run to the closest "stationary- phone" (1 beep left) you dig it up from underneat all the dust and other junk (Just in time before the anwering machine). "Hello" you say hoping that your whole "get the phone as quickly as possible" was not a futile. HA I say as the ear peace starts repeating the other side on which there is a fully moral and proper person trying to sell you their new phone plan or tell you about the low rate credit card with which you can accumulate enough debt to where you'd never be able to pay it off. Telemarketing is the spam of the non-computer- world. The only problem with this spam is that it "pulls you out of your seat." After all when was the last time you were waken up by an email at 14:32 on a sunday? Telemarketing has another advantage over spam you can have FUN with the totally moral person on the other side (considering its not a machine). Have you had a bad day? Why get all the agression out on the people you know or pay for a psychaetrist, just SCREAM away. WHO ARE YOU? WHO DO YOU REPESENT? WHY ARE YOU CALLING? notice you have to scream all your phrases because just when you say hello they will start advertising non stop. Screaming is the only way to get their attention.

Medium: Telemarketing

  • Annoyance: *
  • Morality: *
  • Social Acceptance: *
  • Circumvention: *

While you are up from your sofa and have just released all your agression on a totally innocent person you might procede to your computer. You open your regular programs including your favourite IM client which is likely to connect to AOL's AIM-OSCAR server (toc.oscar.aol.com:4949). And bang you get flooded with messages that advertise the hottest pr0n site with FREE streaming. The message itself goes along the line of "Hey man. Do you remember Jen from Highschool? I just met her in a bar. Over the few beers we had, she kept talking how she had a crush on you in High School. Well she gave me this website on which she hangs out on: http://xxx.pr0nfeedsofyourhighschoolcrush.org." You close this message put the user on your ignore list and procede doing this 2-3 times while cursing the last IQ test you submitted your IM ID to.

Medium: Instant Messaging

  • Annoyance: *
  • Morality: *
  • Social Acceptance: *
  • Circumvention: ****

After realizing that none of your 314 IM buddies are online you procede to open your favorite browser. Just as you do this all those super-cool- navigation-buddy-bars pop-up 2 to 5 windows in random locations on your desktop. You dont bother closing these knowin that they will form a super branching effect where for each one you close 5 more will pop-up. So you procede using you (hijacked) browser pointing it to your favourite (6th grade reading level) "news site" which has the best Who-slept-with-who-column. But as you read you see all kinds of colorfull blinking an moving advertisements covering up parts of your enriching and self fufilling article taking you 9 minutes to read the 2 pages of text. Finally you are done and procede to closing the browser window and the branching pop-ups which have now accumulated to 32. 11 minutes and 229 clicks later you are done.

Medium: WWW

  • Annoyance: *
  • Morality: *
  • Social Acceptance: *
  • Circumvention: *

None of your buddies have yet signed on so fill your need to communicate with a another human you open your mail client. "You got 38 new emails." You get that warm and fuzzy feeling of being popular since so many people send you email. These emails often contain text like this: "I AM WRITING YOU IN ABSOLUTE CONFIDENCE PRIMARILY TO SEEK YOUR ASSISTANCE IN ACQUIRING OIL FUNDS THAT ARE PRESENTLY TRAPPED IN THE REPUBLIC OF IRAQ. MY PARTNERS AND I SOLICIT YOUR ASSISTANCE IN COMPLETING A TRANSACTION BEGUN BY MY FATHER, WHO HAS LONG BEEN ACTIVELY ENGAGED IN THE EXTRACTION OF PETROLEUM IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, AND BRAVELY SERVED HIS COUNTRY AS DIRECTOR OF THE UNITED STATES CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE AGENCY." or maybe some sexual enhancement formulas, all that good stuff. You click unscribe to most of thesese emails in hopes to not get them again but they never seem to end.

Medium: Email

  • Annoyance: *
  • Morality: *
  • Social Acceptance: *
  • Circumvention: ****

And with this message I welcome you to the world of the consumer, where everyone wants your attention to get your money. Of course there are many tactics which one can use to stop or diminish the annoyances but I'll save that for another day.

  2003-09-06T17:52:47